Oh yeah, we are probably moving to Houston

I would have never thought A would want to move back to Texas, but it looks like we might be moving to Houston in the next few months. I'm sad because I will miss my mom and having other family who live about 30 minutes away. At least there will be more to do there than in BR, which will never be known as a cultural mecca. Is there less crime? Let's hope so. I've heard it is flat, hot and humid with great restaurants and museums. A paved paradise for purveyors of cheap and comely comestibles! A sprawling suburbia surrounding a hopping and hip metropolis! I fear seeing big hair, bigger belt buckles and matching cowboy hats. Will everyone love GWB there? Will everyone be Jumping for Jesus? Can you believe people around here in south Louisiana actually say they are on fire for Jesus?!!? And that they like GWB because he is a (shudder) good Christian? There were signs along one of the main roads here around Christmas saying to boycott WalMart because they did not include Christ in Christmas!!! AAAAGGGHH, get me away from the Bible Belt!!! Disclaimer: living in the Bible Belt can cause significant restricted blood flow to the brain, thereby decreasing cognitive function and increasing likelihood of joining together in large groups to cry, roll about on the ground and say such things as "And we just bless you, father God" with the utmost sincerity. And not laugh. Or wonder how a mere mortal would be able to bestow blessings on a deity.
Yes, I am living in the middle of the Christian Coalition, led by such money-humping God-jockeys as Pat "Smote 'Em All" Robertson. Life would not be as funny without guys like him and the farting preacher Robert Tilton. "Oh, I'm feeling it now......hallelujah!" Next time someone says they have found Jesus, I want to ask them if he was in between the couch cushions. Yeah, if I'm going to hell, I can say I'm already there by having to be subjected to this God-rot. Life of Brian should be shown as a double feature, right after Passion of the Christ. Hell yeah.