A quote I found from a pseudo-journalist

I am a serious journalist who writes about serious topics.

Which is why I use this format.

You may wonder why I use this format. Lots of people wonder.

But they don't know what I do.

They don't know.

Why do you write like that. That's what they want to ask me.

Then they want to ask why I didn't use quotation marks.

For a quote, you know.

A "quote," as in when someone speaks.

And I try to explain.

I try to explain to them that this is edgy writing, writing that grips the heart and seizes the eye and makes your soul soar with prosaity that practically screams Pulitzer, even though the only award I've ever won was that Godfrey P. Snogbiter Literary Plaque, which my undergraduate literary magazine put out once a year. And I'd been the editor of it the previous year, to boot. And I try to explain that not using quotes puts me in the literary company of titans like Cormac McCarthy and makes me seem like I know things you don't.

Like I can break rules that you can't.

And, you see, I can.

See, I'm doing the short sentences again. You like that? See how it breaks up the rhythm of my writing?

Goddamn, I impress myself.

Sometimes, I really do.

Like this time.

Right now, I'm trying to decide which line to end on.

Maybe this one.

Or maybe this one.

Or maybe, just maybe, this one.