Retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed winner of the contest, which challenges entrants to submit their worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel.
Guigli's winning entry read: "Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."
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Oh, would that I could write such drivel! Wait! I can. At the drop of a hat, I believe I could probably pen some purple prose as pedestrian as this...hmmm...wait, it isn't as easy as it seems. They actually have a contest for this?! How marvelous! Dear Gren, I love reading your blog! It's so smart! (And your baby is so cute!) How is Texas? I've been out of commission for ages...
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